Have you ever felt like you were watching yourself from an exterior perspective like someone else was controlling your body while you were observing? So have I.
I decided to dig a little deeper and I came across a study done by Mayo Clinic about „Depersonalization-derealization disorder” or as I’ll call it “the DPDR”. This study described all the things I was feeling, thinking, and trying to get rid of these past few months.
So “what is DPDR?” you may ask. This disorder is a mental health condition in which you may have persistent and ongoing feelings that can be categorized in DEPERSONALIZATION, being trapped outside your body, and/or DEREALIZATION the sense that you are living a dream, nothing is completely real.
Before we talk more about symptoms, cases in which DPDR can appear, and other details, I need you to know that this article does not promote self-diagnosis. You should always seek help if needed.
There are numerous symptoms in which DPDR can manifest itself. The most known ones are: feeling like you’re an outside observer of your thoughts, not being able to control your speech or movement, remembering memories with a lack of emotion, and erroneous sense of the time that passed from that moment. Some describe recent things as feeling more in the past or not even belonging to them. Other patients describe numbness, emotional disconnection with people they care about, distortions of distance and the size and shape of objects, surroundings that may seem blurry, two-dimensional, colorless, or the opposite, enhanced awareness and clarity.
These symptoms may interfere with your daily tasks such as work, school, relationships, and family. Episodes of DPDR can last up to months at a time, in some cases, they never stop, periodically get better or worse. During these, you are aware that the sense of detachment is a feeling and not reality, but they still seem difficult to explain.
Studies show that symptoms begin in mid to late teens or early adulthood. The exact cause of the depersonalization-derealization disorder isn't well-known. Factors like genetic and environmental, severe stress, or heightened states of fear may trigger it. DPDR can also be related to childhood trauma or any experience with massive mental health impact.
After researching more about this particular disorder, I decided to do a little survey of my own. 24 hours and 65 people later, the results spoke for themselves. 60% experienced the feeling of not owning your body, 78,5% described recent memories as more distant in the past than they are, 71% felt like they were in a dream or floating above themselves, 65% encountered numbness or remembered memories with no emotion whatsoever and 49,2% lost temporally the ability to control their own body.
As shown from this survey, many people can be affected by different symptoms of DPDR, but experiences can vary and impact you more than others. Don’t forget to share with parents and friends what you’re going through and ask for professional help if it affects your daily life.
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